Wednesday, December 29, 2004

A very beautiful song.....

Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever...
We met in a chatroom, now our love can fully bloom...
Sure the world wide web is great, but you, you make my salivate...
I love technology, but not as much as you, you see...
But I STILL love technology. Always and forever...
Our love is like a flock of doves, flying up to heaven above. Always and forever, always and forever...
Why do you need me? Why do you love me? Always and forever...

Words and Music by Kip Dynamite

To all my friends

I want to say how thankful I am to all of my close friends.

Roman. You are truely my brother. I love you to the end my man. I'm very proud of the person you are and the person you want to be. I'm envious of your commitment to your growing family and the values you hold dear to your heart. I love your passion for life and a want to make changes in the world surrounding you. You have been there for me through thick and thin and I don't tell you enough how much I really to love you. Keep up the good work.

Tim. Like Roman, I love you like a brother. I love your passion for life. I love your ability to express yourself. You are an inspiration to me in so many ways. I am fortunate to have been able to learn from you about so many things. About being open and honest. About being able to state your opinion with out pissing a million people off. About seeing the world from a different perspective and the fact that life isn't just black and white. I cherrish the moments we've shared in many BYU FB game defeats this year :). I also cherrish the time we spend talking about what we want to do with our lives. I love you brother.

Damon. I have no idea if you have read my blog, but I just want you to know that I miss you man! You're another one of my brothers, and I don't mean that in the way that black people mean it. I appreciate your honesty in all of your life. You are by far the most honest person I think I've met. I respect you a ton for the responsibility you have taken on in your role as a father and always making your wife and children the first priority. I truely hope and pray for your happiness and success in life and work. I love you (no really, I'm like attracted-in-love with you; if only you were close to me..........) hehe.

Merilee. You have been one of my best friends for so long. You have been there to listen to me in my time of need. You stayed on the phone with me late at night when I had concerns to talk about during my divorce. You've been there when I had nothing else to do and I wanted to do something with someone. I know we've had our differences in some things, but I truely respect you and everything you strive to be. I hope and pray you will be able to find true happiness, whatever it may be. I wish I could snap my fingers and make everything you want, to come true (I really do). Hang in there (I know you hate hearing those words).

Everyone else, please don't feel bad if I didn't write about you. I have so many I've been close with, that I've shared intimate moments of conversation and shared many feelings of deep friendship with. I appreciate you all. I've been so blessed to have so many great friends. I actually don't have "a lot" of friends. I'm pretty picky when it comes to those I associate with, so maybe that will make you feel special :). However, I have had some great times with them all. I remember fondly many things from my past with you all and I keep it deep in my heart. If I've done anything to hurt you all, I want you to know I truely am sorry and I will work harder at being a better friend.

Take care everyone, and god bless. I'm looking forward to this new year as I hope you all are too.

His thoughts

He's distracted often, always wanting to catch a glimps of her. Never wanting to miss a single moment of expression on her face. Mesmerized by her inward and outward beauty. In awe of her. Greatful to be in her presence. Proud of who she is.

When she softly tells him the deepest and strongest words of what love is and he agrees with her, his heart beats quickly (nervous if you will) and it tells him that she is "the one". He begins to day dream about "what if". His thoughts wonder to various subjects of road trips, waking up with each other, having children, growing old together. Loving each other.

As much as he is a realist, he's always had an idealistic way on what he wanted in a spouse. Someone caring and smart. Someone beautiful that took care of herself. Someone that could be independent, but needy at the same time (as wierd as that sounds). Someone that would love him for everything he held dear to his own heart. Someone that saw in him so much potential and goodness, that even he was surprized to find it. Someone that he could love back with the same amount of energy.

This is ideal. This is love.

He's happy and he strives to make her happy every day. At times it feels like a dream to him because of how perfect everything seems. How he can't find an area he would disagree with her on. That right there is a scary thing to think of. Could that be real? Could it be healthy?.........Why not? They are happy and that is all that matters.

He loves her unconditionally, and that is all that matters.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Life is good

I have no complaints. No worries. No regrets.

I'm a little worried though because here we are a week away from Christmas and I'm not really "feeling" the holiday spirit of it. I think part of it is because I chose not get a tree for this year because I lack the space with Jeff living here now. The other part is just being really busy I guess? Either way, I'm not all down and depressed about it, but I'm just wondering why I'm not into it as much. Maybe it will hit me closer to the date?

Anyway, I'm stoked though because I got Caiden this NICE drum set. It sounds great and looks like a mini-professional set that could be played by midgets or something?

Caiden is growing so dang fast. The dude is getting smart (sometimes too smart for his own good) and I'm so proud of him. Its so fun to see the look on his face when he finds out something new about life in general. I love seeing him learn.

So far, Caiden is officially going to be both a Power Ranger and a Football Player when he gets older. He plays with our neighbor (James) a lot, who is about a year younger than him.

I'm so in love. I really am. Its pathetic I know, but wonderfully pathetic. Alene has been so great to me. You know how people talk about "the complete package" when it comes to a relationship? One of those "ideal" parts of a relationship where someone is attractive, smart, energetic, positive, STABLE, consistent, honest, etc? Well, she is all that and a bag of chips. I feel so comfortable around her and in addition, she makes me feel important. Its an awesome feeling. Anyway, needless to say, I really love her. I wish our time/days together were longer though. It seems we hardly ever get enough quality time. I mean, time where we both aren't exhausted at the end of the day, etc. One of these days it will happen :-).

Anyway, I can't wait to see her again.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

I've got a movie idea!!!!!!!!!

I just had this really bad dream and am going to go write about it right now. It can be a short, or an intro into a longer movie.

I had an amazing time tonight

Alene told me about a meteor shower that was supposed to be filling the skies tonight. Being that we both lived in the city, I suggested we hike up Ensign Peak, which is above the capital and offers the most beautiful view of the Salt Lake valley, as well as the sky.

We went up at 11pm and found it to be quite warm. The hike only took about 20 minutes or so. The view was amazing. I packed two folding chairs, some hand warmers, and my ipod with a splitter for two sets of head phones. I was prepared :-).

Anyway, we just had a great time sitting up there talking and looking at the stars. A couple of other dudes made their way up there as well, but they kept their distance. As we sat there talking, we listened to Modest Mouse. There is something about that music that totally set the mood for that moment.

Finally, it started to get REALLY cold with the wind coming. We packed it up and headed down the mountain. When we got back to Alenes house, I gave her a quick run-down on the game of Football. I think its so cool that she SINCERELY wants to know about it, that she's not just pretending to be interested to make me happy (at least, that is what I'd like to think) :-).

Anyway, I'm very happy, optimistic and content with my life right now. Everything seems to be working in my favor, and if there is anything that doesn't, I just don't worry about it anymore. I'm strong enough to get over it quickly and move on.

Earlier today I worked out and pimped my blood. I also watched the press release about BYU hiring a new Head Coach. I'm really excited about our new head coach. Bronco Mendenhall is an amazing person and he makes you want to work hard by his presence alone. I would be very greatful and fortunate to be able to work under him someday (pipe dream for the most part though).

I'm getting Caiden a nice set of drums for Christmas. This is seriously like a professional set, almost like it was set up for midget rockers or something. Either way, Caiden is going to have fun with them :-).

Monday, December 13, 2004

Life is good and I'm about to do something crazy

I'm going to pick up writing a script that I stopped writing a while back. In fact, I'm going to start writing a few script ideas I've had.

Why you ask? My Muse.

Someone makes my life so much better. I feel inspired by her. I want to do so much. Its amazing the change love brings to you. How confident it makes you feel. How different you see things. How complete you feel.

I'm going to get started soon and do something with my life.

Friday, December 10, 2004

You know something thats dope?

When someone appreciates everything about you that you hold dear to your heart and your life in general. Thats whats dope.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

The most truest quote in the whole-wide-world

"I have a love in my life. It makes me stronger than anything you can imagine."

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

I never like my days ending

It always seems like there is never enough time in the day to accomplish what you want. Who's idea was it to make each day 24 hrs? Why couldn't it be 36 hours? I'd have SO MUCH more time to get things done.

I hate it when my day ends now. I used to long for it, now I just want it to be long. However, time has kind of slowed down for me as of late, so I guess I can't complain.

The worst thing about my job is being on call 24/7/365. I don't get after hours calls as much as I used to, but they do happen from time to time. Last night I went to bed really late (like 2am) and got a phone call about 4:30 am about a problem at work. I had to get up and get there quickly. I was dis-oriented all day. I left work at noon and un-like me, was able to crash on the couch for a couple of hours. It was one of those deep sleeps where I woke up not knowing where I was, what day it was, or what time it was. I was awakened by the belly laughing of my two brothers in another room. Russ has the best laugh though (its contagious). He's the type where you could be watching something and not really laugh at it, but for some reason if he is laughing at it, its so much funnier.

Anyway, one other thought.

What is about people that you come in close contact with and how they can make you feel like the most confident person in the world? I'm so confident (not cocky or prideful) that I feel like I could lift up a car or something. Its an amazing feeling that I wish for all my loved ones to be able to have.

I'm off to bed.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

I'm the king of the frickin' world!

I've been made to feel like a million bucks. I'm shaking. I'm scared. I'm losing control. I'm not tired. I feel good. I must be dreaming. I don't deserve all of this. I wish this night could have lasted forever. The ice is broken.

I'm going to go shave my legs.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Somebody help me!

I'm falling and I can't get up. My heart has been beating fast all weekend and I can't make it stop. I've never slept better though. Someone rubbed my back for like 3 seconds and it was the best feeling in the world. Bright eyes? Killer smile? Cool 'tude? Is there anything better in life?

Someone help me up, then slap me. I'm scared. I get nervous. I fidget. I lose all my thoughts. I'm not the person I want to be, but its not in a bad way. ARGH!! The "ice" needs to be broken. I'm such a wuss. Why?

I can't wait for tomorrow. I need to S L O W down though.

Friday, December 03, 2004

I feel like poop

I have this really good friend, that I'm afraid I'm going to lose. It is over a promise I broke to her. The issue itself is not a HUGE one, but the fact that I broke that promise is really killing me. I'm going to try to talk to her, but who knows how it will go? I don't know if I should give her some time to cool off, or hit it head on?

I'm sad about this. Its my fault.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

One of my biggest fears

My biggest fear, by far, is my son getting hurt. Not little "owies" like scratches, bruises, or bumps, but hurt in a more serious way. I fear him being kidnapped. I fear him being murdered. I also fear him being seriously harmed. My son is the most precious thing to me.

Tonight I started (I say started, because its very long) watching the movie "Gods and Generals". Its a pre-quel to the move "Gettysburg". Now, I don't expect everyone to like history, but I LOVE it. I still have a lot to learn and have only recently gotten into the Civil War era, so I don't know a ton about it yet. However, seeing the passion and God-fearing way men from both sides fought with both hate and love in the way they did it, made me so emotional. I know its just a movie, but they do a really good job of showing the story.

There was one particular scene where the Union army was invading Fredricksburg Virginia. As it was happening, the Confederate town was still trying to evacuate. In the process, a little boy (about 8 years old) was knocked down from a blast. The father and mother quickly ran to the boys lifeless body, only to discover that he was still alive, but his chest was badly bruised from the blast. As the father ripped open his sons shirt to find the bruise, I imagined my own son being that boy and how scared I would have been (not to mention pissed off). The little boys small chest looked so precious and delicate, it made me so sad at what we as human beings end up coming to grips with to solve issues. I'm one that does believe that sometimes War is necessary, but I also think its evil (a necessary evil if you will).

I fear that me or my son will have to enter war someday, not out of hate, but out of defense. I fear my son having to suffer that pain that most in war do. I would be proud of my son serving my country in defense, but I would also have major fear.

So with that, I went into my sons room and sat next to his sleeping body. He is so precious as he sleeps. I do this almost every night. I whisper in his hear how much I love him, how proud I am of him, and how I hope for his happiness. Then, I do my favorite thing of all. I lay my head on his little chest and listen to his heart beating. It is one of the most amazing things to hear in this life for me. More amazing than the sweetest song, or the most beautiful voice. This is a life I helped create and it blows my mind. My sons little heart is there beating along as he sleeps. Keeping his body living.

My son is truely a thing of beauty and I'm so proud of him. I can only hope I raise him to be a good person, who will always be ready for what he will be faced with.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

I hate being sick

I was totally fine the other day. Went to bed, then woke up with the WORST sore throat and a nose dripping like a leaky faucet. I HATE IT! Anyway, drugged up on a lot of Nyquil, sinus tabs, and even a little motor oil, and I was OK. I slept it off for a bit and feeling better.

Being sick sucks.

Other thoughts:

My 19 year old sister is getting married. She's not engaged yet, but she and her new beau have pretty much sealed the deal. She's known him for a while, but only started dating him a few months ago. I don't know what to think about this. I mean, my sister is really mature for her age, but it just doesn't seem right? I don't know why. Her boyfriend is a totally cool guy, but I guess I just don't know him that well. She seems really happy around him and he seems really happy around her. I guess its that whole protective thing I have going on.

My younger brother got married w/in 3 months of knowing a girl. He spent two years on a church mission and during the 1.5 years he wrote to her (with out having ever met her). They got to know each other that way, which is nice. I already knew her because she was my friends sister, so that was cool. However, I guess since he is a "boy" I felt better about him marrying her (that she wasn't going to "take advantage" of him).

With my sisters, for some reason its different. I need to really know the guy she is dating. When my other (younger) sister got married, i was cool with it. She had been dating the dude for a good year before they decided to seal the deal. By that time, I felt like I knew and trusted him enough.

With Krystal (my soon to be married sister), I don't know the dude enough to trust him. Its just weird. They are still holding out until around March to get married, which is cool I guess. Plus, he hasn't officially "asked her" to marry him, but they have both talked/agreed about it. Kind of weird. My sister is a cool girl, I just hope she is ready for it. In some ways she is very mature, and in other ways, I think she will be shocked at the changes that happen when you are married. Either way, her future husband is going to be a lucky man. She is a cool girl and doesn't have most of the drama/baggage that most other girls come with.

I guess I need to re-evaluate my male feelings about marriage and how its OK to if your brother gets hitched quick, but not your sister. I'll just let Krystal make the right decision.

Then there is my situation. I'm a menace to society in my neck of the woods. I need to do something about my situation. I really do like the idea of getting hitched, but i'm so scared of having a failing marriage again.

I have a few girls I am really close with, some that I think are into me and if I would "make that move" I could be with them, then there is this one who is so mysterious. I think she thinks I'm just a friend, but I don't know how to take things to the next level. She is really cool, has a dope/comforting smile, and is really chill. I still don't feel like I really know her, but its really hard to REALLY know her. I get really nervous around her and don't want to say the wrong things. Man, this dating thing is TOUGH. Oh well. I think I just need to be patient.

My parents always tease/bug me about being single. Its not as bad as most LDS people would think. I'm just glad my parents don't harp on it, like I'm breaking some religious commandment. Their cool like that. Heck, my dad was 29 when he re-married! :)

Well, that is my venting referring to relationships. Glad I got that off my chest!

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

And then there was one

So after I had my feelings of guilt wiped away by my darwinian awakening, I found another mouse in the house! No joke. As I put my computer to sleep after posting that last blog, I walk in the kitchen and sure enough, there is another mous running along my counter top. So I set the next trap (which took a while because I couldn't get it to set) and went to bed. Woke up and the dumb sucker was caught in the trap dead. This one looks like it was much quicker though because the trap got him right on the neck. Poor little feller.

My son woke up and saw him there too. He wasn't sad or scared, he just kind of gave me the "Daddy, there is a mouse stuck in the trap" routine.

Well, hopefully that will be the end of that. I really need to weather-proof my house and seal it all off. I bet these guys have been having a field day with all the food and warmth in mi casa. No more, no doubt.

Why I know hunting is not for me

I just killed a mouse and I feel bad.

Its not like I killed it out of cold blood, like I was looking to kill it. Its just the dirty varmit has been living and mooching off me forever. In fact, there used to be 3 of the suckers in the house, but my brother (Jeff) caught the first two. Mouses, while can be looked at as cute and adorable, are actually very dirty and carry many diseases. I didn't want any of that in my house.

The last surviving mouse was a good one. No joke. The dude was cleaver and deft. He was able to somehow get the cheese off the trap with out getting caught. I think the slice of cheese was too light, so I put a giant sucker on there (which caused the mouse to use a little more effort in getting his fill). As I laid in my bed reading my sports Illustrated, I heard a loud snap and knew right away it was the last mouse.

As I grabed the trap, he was on there, alive and trying to break free. I'm positive his back was broken. The poor little sucker just looked at me with those innocent mouse eyes as if I was the devil himself. I about lost it.

Anyway, I took him out to my trash bin and opened the trap and he fell in the bin. I didn't see where he dropped, but I know he didn't make any kind of effort to get out. He just laid there.

Poor guy.

I was then imagining if there was something like that for humans and if you were to be somewhere you aren't supposed to be, a giant human trap came flying down on you and snapped your back. That would suck eggs.

I guess I can justify it by claiming to be a Darwinist.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Mmmmmmm Cookies

One of the greatest feelings in the world is coming home and finding a box of cookies on your door step with no explaination as to how they got there, who made them, or even what kind they are.

I had the luxury of finding such joy.

I had spent my whole day working at my "regular" job, then came home to get changed and head off to my "other job", which tonight happened to be tiling a tub/shower at my ex in-laws rental duplex. I worked from about 7pm to 12:30am and came home beat. To my suprize this little bundle of joy was left there, so perfect looking.

The exicting thing about un-marked cookies is all the quesitons that run through your head. "Who left them here?" "Do I have a secret admirer?" "Does someone REALLY like me that much?". In fact, my impatience often gets to me and I get frustrated that I DON'T know who it was.

Either way, I'm a happy person. The best part about these cookies is that they are REALLY good. I've never had anything quite like them. They remind me of a combination between ginger snaps (sans the "snap" part because these are rather moist) and double chocolate cookies. I love how, even after being out in the freezing cold, they are still so soft and chewy. I also dig the perfect silver-dollar size of each cookie, so perfect to eat in 1-2 bites.

Life just doesn't get any better than this folks.

To the wonderful person that left this delightful occasion on my door step, I salute you. If you would like to come forward and ease my curiosity, please feel free. You know where to find me.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

What up?

Dang, Its been a while since I've written anything here. I've been really busy and when I do have time to sit and write, my mind is usually not in the mood for expressing thoughts.

So its kind of weird how things are. I want a woman. Not just any woman though, I just miss true companionship and love. Its tough.

I mean, I have lots of "prospects" when it comes to girls, but all of them seem to be lacking something that messes up the entire equation. Call me picky, call me a pig, whatever the reason, its just not "there". My goodness this is sucking.

The hardest part is obviously the holidays. Man, at times I feel like Robby Hart in the Wedding Singer after Linda abandons their wedding. I HATE seeing couples happy together. I mean, I'm happy for them and everything, but its so hard during this time.

I'm not getting any younger either, or at least to my societies standards. Its tough w/in my religion and in my society being my age and finding someone willing to give you a chance. I don't feel like I'm getting or looking any younger, so now I'm hitting that "I have to get in shape" mode. I've got my gym membership and I've been going on a good, consistent basis. I will admit that working out does have more advantages than just trying to attract the opposite sex. I really feel good after I get a good work out in. I'm still worried I'm going to give up on working out sooner or later. I never maintain a good schedule for this kind of thing, but I guess we will see.

I still hate school.

Music rocks. Sometimes I want to give it all up and just focus on becoming a musician and rock star, then I remember that I don't know a lick about music, can't play an instrument and can't sing. Doesn't exactly get me excited, but a man can dream can't he? :-)

OK, homeboy needs to go to bed. I always complain about my health and how I'm always tired or lack energy and here I am staying up until midnight every night for whatever reason. One of these days I'm going to try an experiment, kind of like that Jared experiement with Subway; except his problem was too much weight, my problem is lack of good sleeping habits. For one week straight I'm going to try to get to bed by 10pm and see if I feel any better.

The key is setting up that week. I'll shoot for the first week in December.

Speaking of December, I'm pretty stoked about that month. No, not because of all the loot people score (I honestly don't care to get anything) but because I'm FINALLY going in for a consultation for braces. My teeth are so crooked, gapped and messed up that its no wonder I don't get any chicas begging for my number. Its a total confidence thing for me. I hate opening my mouth to talk, I hate smiling and I'm sure that turns off the girls from the get-go. Heck, if I DO open my mouth to talk or smile, I'm sure that is a turn-off too :-). Anyway, I've been putting this off for some time, but now I'm finally doing it. I'm making an extra $180 per month pimping out the plasma in my blood, so that should help make up the payments for braces. Kind of sucks, but whats a guy to do? I've gotta pull chicas :-).

Anyway, I said I was going to bed, and now I'm going for sure.......................yeah right.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

My stoke factor

Check it:

Beach Boys - this is not a "WE LANDED ON THE MOON" moment, but they have some amazing harmonies that if you listen closely are AMAZINGLY mixed by Mr. Wilson himself. The following are some of my favorite songs. I suggest you check them out:

Heroes and Villians
Surfs Up
Do you like worms
Little St. Nick
Sloop John B
Don't worry baby
Good Vibrations

Other stokes:

Working out
Being lazy (weird, I know)
Playing X-box with Caiden
TV Show "Lost"
Winterizing my yard
Dreaming about "what could be"
Studying History
Rivers edge (Weezer autobiography)

Friday, November 05, 2004

A day in the life of Tyler Root, the millionaire

For starters, my life would be different every day depending on the season. For now we are going to assume its November, so right between Fall and Winter (IOW, snow up in the canyons and plenty of it!)

OK, so as a millionaire, I'll have an alarm clock, but it won't be set (unless I have some engagement I need to be at early). I'd sleep until I woke up, which I am hoping is about 8am. I'd then proceed to turn on my computer, check out my fantasy football and basektball teams. Then I'd go turn on the TV and check out the news. Then I'd go wake up my son.

After my fill of information, I'd head over to the gym, drop Caiden off in the kids play room, and then work out for an hour. Nothing like a good work out. Also, can't forget some evian bottled water. Hydration is important.

Hopefully I'd be done with this by 11am.

I'd then head home, shower, and watch the History channel for a bit, while Caiden gets his fill of Star Wars X-box gaming. (one thing to note: If this is next year, Caiden would be in school, so things will change by that time).

At about 1pm, I'd head downtown with Caiden somewhere and look for a homeless person and give them a $100 bill. Then I'd head over to some low-income place and look for a single mother and give her a $100 bill. (as a millionaire, I would do this daily, serious).

At about 2:30, Caiden and I would head over to the High School that I would be a volunteer coach for and get ready for practice. I'd be at practice every day from 3:00 to 6:00, so I'd be pretty busy.

After practice Caiden and I would go home and cook dinner. I'd watch more of the History channel and also get my fill of The Daily Show. Caiden, of course, would be playing X-box. However, he can't do that all day, so we would end the evening with some math flash cards. Right now he is working on his addition properties. I'd then send Caiden to bed by 9pm and I'd go chill watching more of the History channel or a movie.

Of course, this is my Tues/Thurs schedule. My Mon/Wed/Fri schedule would go something like this:

Wake up to an alarm clock at 7:30. Put on clothes, grab snowboard and snowboard until 1pm. Give away money to needy people, go to football practice. Of course Caiden will be in tow for all of these events.

And that, my friends, is how Tyler Root, the millionaire lives his day.

I've been eating a lot of egg sandwiches lately

I have no idea why, but they have been on my pallet lately.

I start off with a tad of butter in a small pan. I let the burner slowly melt it. Then I put two pieces of toast in the toaster, but don't start toasting them right away.

Then I crack and egg into the pan and let it slowly cook, making sure it takes on the same shape as a piece of bread. Then I turn it over and smash it down so the yoke breaks and kind of blends in with the whites. I make sure its cooked on both sides. During that time, I start to toast my bread.

Once the bread is ready, I add a small amount of mayo to each piece, slap the cooked egg on and put all in my tummy. Its good.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

I just got a gym membership today

so yeah, we'll see if that was a waste of money or not. I'm hoping I can stay motivated and actually go. With it only being less than a 5 minute drive from me, I BETTER use it. Plus I gotta keep up with all the other dudes out there that like to lift up their shirts and show off their abs and one of their boobs. Give me 6 months.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

A few more thoughts on this election day

I was watching CNN and a commentary by some dude. He quoted a few statements by regular people, one of which was from some other dudes blog on the internet. I really wish I would know where the location of that particular blog was, but it stated my entire feelings on elections, our leaders, etc.

It read something along the lines of:

I am voting tonight for who I think will be the best president. However, when I wake up tomorrow I will be supporting whoever is in office, whether its the person I voted for or not. However, I will still be critical and voice my opinion when I disagree with the president, whether its the person I voted for or not. I am an American and the only way we will survive as a nation is if we learn to accept others for their difference in views and realize that our ability to have different opinons is what makes this country so great. After this election, we as a country need to unite and support our president, whether we voted for him or not.

Anyway, I'm sure I just totally ruined that dudes statement. In fact, I know I did. I can't do justice to what he wrote. It was like pure poetry. I really wish I could find it. Oh well, if anyone is actually reading this, they will have to try to get the best of what I paraphrased.

Anyway, I'm proud to be an American.

I used to tolerate MTV

Now the channel makes me want to puke. Over the past few days I have witnessed some of the biggest propeganda since the Nazi control over Germany.

Like I've said before, I'm not a huge political person....throw in the fact that I'm also not a huge activist when it comes to issues (I like to keep them to myself) but this shit is ridiculous. All the political shows, comercials, etc. have all been focused on how evil George Bush is and how great Kerry is. Just goes to show what money/power you can control.

This generation they are reaching out to really scares me. I'm at a loss for words now. I'm sad.

I voted today

I'm not a huge political guy and had planned on not voting or getting involved, but I did it today anway. I felt really good after doing it.

I'm very proud to be a part of America. Sure, we may have screwed over some locals when first taking over land, but for the most part I think it worked out well for everyone. Typical American demeanor huh? Well, show me an America with some seedy pasts and I'll show you any other country in this world (as old, or older than America) who has even seedier pasts.

Like I was saying. I love America. I've been studying History lately (in school, which is my major) and it has just been the basics. The first semester was the beginning of history to 1200 and the second semester was 1200 to the present day. I look at how many struggles there have been for other countries and how limited they have been to have a say in things.

I'm so happy I have been able to have a say in things for my country; whether they make a difference or not.

I was somewhat un-sure of who to vote for as president. I don't like Kerry and I think Bush is incompetent, but a good person. In the end I went with the good person. I mean, I think Kerry is alright, but I don't like his attacking personality and how much he has flip-flopped on issues. Sure, Dubya has flip flopped as well, but not as much as Kerry.

Lesser of two evils you say? Yeah, but I wouldn't call them evils, I would call it "lesser of two incompetents". Oh well. The Democratic way is the only way for me and I'm proud to be a part of it.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Not so bling bling :-(

Yeah, so I spoke a bit with Mike about what he does. Its not as easy to get into; you actually have to WORK to get there. Can you believe that? :-). Kidding. I am still intrigued by it though. Its a legit business. Mike basically told me that I would need to get on with a mortgage company as a rep, doing mortgages part time if I could. Learn that side of the business, then I could work my way into a sales rep for his company.

Like food, sales is a Love/Hate relationship too. I mean, sales can almost be like teaching for me. I can't teach "anything", but if its a subject I know like the back of my hand, I can go off on it and teach it with great detail. If I do sales, I want/need to know the product like my own son. In addition, I don't like people that much either. I mean, I like those I associate with, but I'm not one for meeting new people that much. Still, if I can get 4-5k per month out of meeting a few new people, that may not be too bad :-).

Once this football season is over, I'm going to talk to Mike about it a bit more.

Sunday, October 31, 2004

Food: Its a love/hate relationship

OK, so its been almost 10 years since I graduated from high school. I'm still the same weight I was then, which isn't a bad thing. I'm sure I have less muscle then I did then, but you know, I can't complain. However, I can allow my weight to fluctuate so crazily, but I hate it. I can go anywhere from 210-190 in a matter of a month, all based on how I control my diet.

Its kind of crazy when it comes to both pigging out and watching what I eat

Pigging out: The Love

I eat, and MAN, I love to taste good things. My stomach is happy, my taste buds are happy, and I'm sure there are parts of my body that like any kind of nutrients I'm giving it.

Pigging out: The Hate

The after-affects of pigging out are my stomach feels stretched. I also feel slower and bogged down. I'm usually tired and my clothes are a little tighter. Not a good feeling.

Watching what I eat: The Love

Man, I usually have more energy. I feel good about what is going into my body and I think my body generally likes it. I find that generally there are a lot of good things to eat that are good for you, just in moderation buddy.

Watching what I eat: The Hate

Sometimes I feel hungrier if I eat just a little bit. The thing is, I've found times when I'm REALLY hungry, and only have something small to eat, I eat it and crave more of it (but that is all) and with in about 15 minutes, I feel REALLY full. Why can't I have more control over these similar situations, when I have food coming out the ying-yang? Why can't I "just say no" to over-eating?

I find I'm usually at my worst when I have lots of stuff to snack on around mi casa.

I have a plan, and I hope it works. As soon as my football season is over, I'm signign up for a membership at 24 hour fitness. They have a day care and are only 5 minutes from my house. I can take my son there and let him run around while I sweat it out. I need to get in general shape anyway. And when I say shape, NO, a Circle isn't a shape.

Daylight savings time

So its the fall portion of Daylights savings time (which, by the way, I think is amazing someone has figured out this works). This is a day that we are all to set our clocks back the night before. One extra hour of rest is what they say. Not so for me.

7:00am, my recently turned five year old son, who was up for close to 14 hours the previous day, is up rearing to go. At first he wants to immediately play video games on the X-box (the boy could sit in front of that thing playing Star Wars Battlefront from sun up to sun down). I could imagine his thought process is something like this:

"Star Wars, Star Wars, Star Wars, Star Wars, I want a fruit snack, Star Wars, Star Wars, Star Wars, I want a kid drink".

Anyway, I digress. So my son is asking to play the video game and I'm DOG tired. I'm still in that zone where I'm half asleep and half awake...thinking that since I have time to sleep in, I can fall back asleep. I get the game started for him and jump back in bed. Then my thoughts turn to something like this:

"how are we going to stop #41 this week? I could have Peter play middle linebacker and roam sideline to sideline, then have Semisi help shut down the toss sweep by lining him out on the weak side? Go to sleep Tyler.........TYLER, go to sleep! What about #35? When he comes in, he .....this is getting ridiculous. GO TO SLEEP! #35 only comes in to catch the ball out of the backfield. I have to stay on Trevor about not getting sucked inside and he HAS to remember to drop into the flats. Oh yeah, #31 is the tight end that comes in to only run the corner pattern. Ezra has to keep an eye on him all the time. OK Tyler, you've figure this out when you wake up.....GO TO SLEEP......................oh shit, this is ridiculous."

Then I decide to get out of bed.

Here it is, 10:30 PM and I'm tired as usual. I had planned on taking a nap sometime today, but yeah, that didn't work out. I waste so much time doing nothing. My life is pretty pathetic most of the time, its no wonder I don't have a woman right now. Probably a good thing becaus she'd be disgusted by what I do with my free time: Nothing.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

School sucks!

I mean, classes you take that will NEVER be a part of what you do SUCKS! I HATE math. I mean HATE IT! I can't wait for this class to be over. If I can finish with a C, I'll be happy so I can move onto the next class and barely pass it.

The thing that sucks, I've had the benefit of having 3 really good math instructors in college, but I just don't care for math. I can generally pick up on the equations, etc, but they don't excite me whatsoever.

The ONLY reason I could see why I would need math, is if I'm coaching and in a study hall with my players and someone needs help with their math homework. Either that, or one of my kids will need help with their homework. Most of this stuff I will never have a serious need for in life.

I wish we could just focus on the subject we are interested in. I'd get so much more out of school that way. Oh well.

The thing that really peeves me is the "excitement" and motivation I have as the beginning of the semester starts. I get all stoked and positive about the class and make these lofty goals of taking good notes, doing my homework, and paying attention. Before you know I've missed a few classes and I consider dropping the class :-). For real though, I'm going to stick this one out, I just can't wait until its over!

Funny "white trash" moment at work today

So at my work, we have many different types of people, including the traditional white trash. When I say that word, I do realize it is quite harsh because this girl isn't all that bad, she's just a typical girl of this era. She tries hard to be cool, but it just isn't working.

She has the typical teased hair, bright orange makeup, and wears those skinny, acid-washed pants that get really tight down at the ankles and end at her white tennis shoes.

Like I said, she tries.

Anyway, I'm in the break room warming up some food and I she comes running saying this exact words, "You did what???? You put a carburator in the dishwasher???"

I almost lost it, but just turned around and continuted nuking my food.

Funny moment no doubt.

Monday, October 25, 2004


OK, so I've had money on my mind lately. Not like I want to hoard it, but I wish I had just a little bit more of it. I mean, I make decent money for what I do (40k) but after forking out over $550 of it each month to help with my son, I don't see much of it :-).

Well, this guy I coach my little league team with (Mike, he's the head coach) called me last night and first started talking to me about our team, etc. Then we somehow got on the topic of what he does for a living. He is in the business of buying and selling mortgages to the private industry. He is VP of sales for his company, so he is pretty well-set. He then talked to me about how I'm missing out on his industry and that its a hidden gem that no one is into. He then went onto tell me that he has 18 sales reps located all over the western U.S. who work from home and make anywhere from 4k to 50k per month doing this.

I get INSTANTLY skeptical when people talk about stuff like this. First, I always think its some sort of Multi-level marketing or something. But Mike doesn't seem like that kind of guy that would be into that. He said his company is the largest dealer in mortgage buy-outs and re-sellers. He wasn't bragging, but he said he makes more money than any of his siblings some of which are Dr's, etc.

Anyway, he said he would talk to me about it more, but was basically saying he could hook me up with a job like that.

I think maybe that is why I was missing sleep? I don't know. I just woke up early thinking about how nice it would be to be able to work from home, sell mortgages, and make more money than I could imagine. He said the dudes that bring in 50k a month a REALLY dedicated though and put in about 50 hrs a week. Big whoopee! At times I've put in up to 70 hrs a week!

One thing that comforts me about the legitimate part of this business is that he is always traveling to visit his sales reps, so I know he doesn't work for some fly-by-night company. They actually pay to send him out to these places. Plus he drives a really nice car, has a somewhat large family, and a big house from what everyone tells me.

Anyway, I'm kind of excited to find out more about this. It would be SO nice to be able to have extra cash to finish re-modeling my house, build a play house for Caiden in the back yard, buy that BMW 330i I've been drooling over, take a few low-income kids on my team out for a shopping spree, etc.

Oh well, I guess I better get back to reality (work).

Did something really cool this morning

So for whatever reason, I woke up REALLY early for my standards, which was 6am. I'm usually a 7:30 to 8am type of person. I took this SUPER hot shower, to the point where I was sweatting after. Then I did the normal shaving my face, got dressed and I still found myself REALLY hot. Well, being that its like 35-40 degrees here in the morning, I went outside on my front porch and just chilled for like 20 minutes while steam ran off me. It actually felt REALLY refreshing. Wish I could do that every day. In addition, it was lightly raining so it was really peaceful.

I love watching my son play

There is nothing better than hiding somewhere and watching my son play and communicate whether it be by himself, or with a friend. He almost becomes a different person. I think with me there is the "authority figure" in me that can intimidate him a bit and keeps him from taking complete control of a situation.

When he has his friend over (next door neighbor) he is on a level playing field. I sat out in my tool shed today and watched him interact for about 20 minutes. It was awesome and funny.

Caiden was trying to act like he was "the man" for the most part. He kept reminding his friend of what his daddy (me) would allow them to do and what they could not do. They sat on the endge of the deck and talked for a bit, making funny fart noises with their mouths, etc. Caiden then began kicking the lattuce wood under the deck (that my honeysuckle grows on) with the back of his foot. His friend (James) then asked if his daddy allows him to hit the wood with his foot and Caiden replied "my daddy says I can do whatever I want".

Looks like I need to be more clear on "anything he wants"; I mean that more as a positive reinforcement more than anything (you know the whole "you can do anything if you put your mind to it" thing?) I got a chuckle out of his statement.

Anyway, as he kept kicking harder and harder, I would have normally gone outside and asked him to stop, but I wanted to see how long he would keep it up. Finally a piece of the lattuce came loose and his friend pointed it out. Just then Caiden almost froze in fear, then jumped off the deck to see what he was talking about. James pointed out the piece of wood that fell off (just a small 6" piece in the corner) and Caiden picked it up and I could tell he was a bit nervous. They both sat there for about 5 minutes trying to figure out how they were going to re-attach the piece. Finally, they decided to just hide the piece behind the lattuce, under the deck and went inside the house.

I'm going to hang onto that 6" piece of wood to remind myself of how precious my son is. Every time I look at my lattuce and see that missing piece down by the corner (which no one else will ever notice) I'm going to smile at the character my son gave my deck, and the little character he is turning out to be.

I love my son dearly.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

My latest thoughts

I'm stoked because both my little league FB team and my favorite college team (BYU) won today. With my little leagues win, we are going to the play-offs!

You all have no idea how tough it was for us to get here. We've won 5 straight (and soon to be 6 with the win-less team we play this week) after starting off 0-3. The first two teams we lost to are good and are tied for 1st place right now, so that is understandable, but we lost our 3rd game to this really weak team. Should have won it. Oh well.

Anyway, I'm stoked.

Other thoughts...... know you are a loser when you get hooked on the computer traditional game Solitair. Yup. I'm a loser. I can't believe how easily I get hooked. Oh well.....

.....For those of you that have not tried to get a copy or purchase "The garden state" soundtrack, EVERYONE IS MISSING OUT! This soundtrack will change your life (if you dig music and it touches your soul in so many ways you can't describe). I LOVE THIS SOUNDTRACK........


......I saw "I heart huckabees" the other tight. Brilliant script/dialogue, but the movie was kind of weird (my kind of weird though). For the most part, I dug it. My friend I was with (Mikelle) fell asleep like 5 times. She still dug it though, but was just tired......

.....speaking of Garden State a few thoughts ago, I am purchasing the frickin' DVD the day it comes out. I miss it. There is this scene where Natalie Portman just meets the lead character (who happens to also be the writer/director of the movie, Zach Braff) and she lets him listen to the CD she is listening to (which happens to be the soundtrack for the movie) and its this song by "The Shins" called New Slang. The look she gives him while he is listening to it is breathless. Not seductive, but just a beautiful, exciting smile. I dug that scene. I've seen the movie like 3 times in the theater.....

....same with Napoleon Dynamite. That movie is "fetchin' awesome"......

Thursday, October 21, 2004

I'm off for my glamour photo session.

Its at "Photos by Deb". Anyone care to join me? After I get them back, I'm sure I'll be the most hit up person here on For real.

I'm going to go for that "holding up your collar, turned sideways" look. In addition, the "fist to the chin close-up" shot seems pretty hot. Then there is always the "lift up your shirt and show 'em what you got" look. That one would be cool, although I think I'm going to have to wait to get my frontal waxed.

Who else wants to get some fuzzy glamour shots done with me so we can post them here? Let me know because Deb is as good as it gets.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

My female boss is cool

OK, PLEASE don't assume I'm a chauvinistic pig by my statement, but I always feared working for a woman in the business world. Not because I don't think they can do it; I KNOW that most women are smarter than men. I worried more about getting one of those bitchy women that are only out there to prove that they are better than men.

Anyway, about 2 years ago my company was bought out by a company based in Atlanta. With that, we downsized my entire staff of 9 to just me. It was pretty sad. Anyway, my new boss I would be reporting to was a nice lady from the get-go. She is a lady about 40 with a couple of kids and divorced. Right off the batt she commanded my respect, but not in a militant way. I don't know what it was, but she had a very sincere and somewhat sparkle in her eye when she looked at you. Just a nice, NICE lady.

Being that she is in Atlanta and I'm in Utah, she pretty much leaves my job and managing myself up to me. She trusts that I will be available when the shit hits the fan, and I usually am (or at least right around the corner). Every time I meet with her (which is twice a year) she is very friendly and always interested in my life and what I'm doing. She never gets pissed off at times I drop the ball, although I've never dropped the ball on anything big, so that might help.

All in all, I love my boss (but I'm not "in" love with her, he he). I'm very thankful for a boss like her and if I was 40 years old......she'd be in trouble! hehe.

Current songs I've been listening to

These are the current songs that are cool. If you don't have them, buy them, download them, or borrow them from someone, but do it NOW!

Do it again - Beach Boys
Lives - Modest Mouse
Jumping Around - The Rentals
Untitled - Interpol
Stumbline - Smashing Pumpkins
Broken Heart - Spiritualized
Only in Dreams, Undone, Say it aint so - Weezer (I never get tired of it)
Caring is creepy - The shins
Don't Panic - Coldplay
In the waiting line - Zero 7
New slang - The shins
Vege-tables - Beach boys
Just like movie stars - matt sharp

Let me know if you have any questions about these songs.

Monday, October 11, 2004

All about me

I got this from someone elses blog, so yeah, I'm a poser.


.name- Tyler
.age- 27
.sex- male
.martial status- single
.hair color- blond-like
.eye color- blue
.sexual preference- Females
.ethnicity- white


.band- Weezer, followed closely by Modest Mouse
.song- Not fair. I always dig the rockability of Say it aint so, but always love Only in Dreams (both by Weezer), but then Thirty to Three always pops in my head as well (by Smashing Pumpkins). THIS QUESTION SUCKS!
.singer- Lea Salonga
.food- Tex/Mex
.book- The Alchemist
.magazine- Mens Health
.sport- Football/Snowboarding
.movie- I'm not getting into it (like the music question) but anything by Spike Jonze or Cohen Brothers for the most part.
.flower- Honey Suckle
.animal- Fido
.candy- Snikers
.tv show- The Daily Show
.tv station- History Channel or Comedy Central
.video game- Splinter Cel (when I'm feeling like it)
.anime- None
.country- United States of America
.state- Utah
.color- Blue
.weather- 76 degrees with a 20 hance of rain
.season- Fall
.time of day- late morning
.month- September
.quote- "I like your style dude" - The Stranger


.living arrangement- Mi Casa
.how many people are in your family- In my house, 2 (my son and I) but for my immediate famliy.........take a deep breath: 10 kids, two parents.
.do you ever have family get togethers?- All the time
.your favorite cousin- Summer
.your favorite family member- The two-headed monster: Mom/Dad
.your least favorite family member- If this was a math question, my answer would be: No Solution
.is family important to you?- As much as air
.do you get along with your parents?- Very much
.siblings- 9
.ages- Holy I can remember? Ummm 12, 15, 16, 19, 22, 24, 26, 34, 35
.do you get along with your siblings?- Yes
.pets- Not now.


Do you believe in...

.God- Yes
.the devil- Yes
.hell- Yes
.reincarnation- No
.karma- Yes
.miracles- Yes
.luck- Yes, with good decisions
.fate/destiny- Somewhat
.magic- No
.someone for everyone- No
.religion- Yes


.suicide- Sad/Selfish
.homosexuality- Whatever makes people happy
.depression- Sucks
.sex before marriage- Its good if you try to keep it like that, but if you don't, don't feel like a heathen.
.abortion- Sad, but in some cases necessary
.boredom- Hate it
.war/terrorism- Necessary evil/Cowardice
.love- Used to be easy for me, now I'm scared to death of it.
.life- Lovin' it


.pop- nay
.rock- & roll- yay
.rap- sometimes yay
.r&b- nay
.ska- sometimes yay
.emo- yay
.hardcore- sometimes yay
.country- usually yay
.classical- yay
.foreign- nay
.hip-hop- sometimes yay
.dashboard confessional- Used to be YAY, but got old quick, so now sometimes yay
.good charlotte- nay
.blink-182- yay
.goldfinger- yay
.all-american rejects- nay
.Debbie Gibson- nay
.led zepplin- yay
.the sex pistols- yay
.pennywise- yay
.the used- nay
.the shins- yay
.the white stripes- yay
.the offspring- nay
.system of a down- nay
.mudvayne- nay
.white zombie- nay
.the ataris- yay
.evanescence- nay
.linkin park- nay
.poison- nay
.new found glory- nay
.NOFX- yay
.alice in chains- yay
.nickleback- WAY nay
.puddle of mudd- mostly nay


.coke/pepsi- pepsi
.vanilla coke/vanilla pepsi- vanilla pepsi
.chocolate/vanilla- vanilla
.black/white- black
.light/dark- dark
.sun/moon- moon
.rain/snow- snow
.sunshine/rain- sunshine
.summer/winter- winter
.spring/autumn- autumn
.sunrise/sunset- sunset
.car/suv- suv
.cellphone/pager- phone, out-grew the pager back in the day
.radio/tv- tv
.vhs/dvd- DVD
.cd/tape- CD
.glasses/contacts- glasses (if I wore them; I don't)
.morning/night- NIGHT
.ocean/pool- ocean
.skiing/snowboarding- snowboarding
.skating/skateboarding- I suck at both, but I'll pick skateboarding
.oranges/apples- apples
.strawberries/bananas- strawberries
.penguins/polar bears- polar bears
.mcdonalds/burger king- McDonalds
.pizza hut/dominos- Pizza Hut
.wine/champagne- None


.stole/shop-lifted- yes
.sped- yes
.smoked- yes
.drank- yes
.gotten drunk- no
.gotten drunk and passed out- no
.gotten drunk and couldn't remember anything- no
.done drugs- no
.weed- no
.marijuana- isn't it the same as weed?
.shrooms- no
.lsd- no
.ecstasy- no
.crack- no
.cocaine- I'm no movie star
.heroin- no
.inhalants- no
.skinny dipped- yes
.gave someone a lap dance- no
.had sex- yes
.snuck out of the hous- Many times, but I don't think my parents really cared.
.ran away from home- Only threats
.tried to commit suicide- no
.used someone- no
.cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend- no
.got caught 'doing something'- yes
.embarrassed yourself- every day
.share an embarrassing moment- Not at the moment
.what time is it- 11:58 PM
.are you glad this is over- I guess

Cool 80's music video

If you want to see my music video

check out this page:

Sunday, October 10, 2004

A little tip for the girls out there

NEVER trust the boyz that ride crotch rockets, have beached hair and try to race others all the time. They're not worth it and are nothing but trouble. In addition, don't trust the dudes that drive small import cars with loud mufflers. They are all Paul Walker wannabes that like to pretend the movie "fast and the furious" is what their life is all about. Its lame.

My "stoke factor"

Anyone else have one of these? If not, you should do it. This is what I've been stoking on lately:

Music: Interpol (their "turn on the bright lights" album is wicked-dreamy), The Garden State soundtrack, Golden Boy, Weezer (goes w/o saying), The Rentals, Smashing Pumpkins (just my "mix" I put together), Modest Mouse

Other stuff: Helping my brother tile his floor....scheming for my little league football team.......Spike Jonze.......Charlie History 1600 class.......Growing out my and Cranberry mixed.......watching the speed limit......thinking of ways to get some extra money.......teaching my son about life and reading to him.......procrastinating signing up for a 24 hr fitness membership.......arguing with people in my fantasy football league about anything BUT football.......presidential debates......small boobies.......VH1's 30 years of Hip Hop......dreaming about my future.......Adaptation.......Snatch.......yo mamma.

Web sites:

Saturday, October 09, 2004

One reason I feel happy today

Despite my favorite College football team losing last night, my midget (12 year old) team won today convincingly 20-0. I coach the defense and this is our 2nd shut-out in a row (could have been our 3rd, but 3 weeks ago the other team came down with a lucky catch in the end zone). I'm very happy to be coaching my boys. I'm sure some of them think I hate them with the way I scream and yell at them from time to time, but I always try to let them know I'm proud of them and tell them I love them. They are good kids and fun to work with. I love coaching.

My life story age 1-10

OK, so here goes the run-down.

I was born on April 11, 1977 in Placerville, CA. Its a little town nestled between Sacramento and Lake Tahoe. Beautiful little place.

0-1 years old. I don't remember much. I assume I learned to eat, crawl, and walk (although I still have problems crawling, so I don't know if I ever really "mastered" the skill).

1-2 years old. I believe I learned to say words like "dadda" and "poop". I think I split my head open at this era in my life. A teatherball pole fell over and hit me on the head. 17 stitches and a lifetime scar under my hair later, I'm good to go. In addition, on my 17th month of life, my brother Russell was born. The fight begins. I also still have a faint memory of someone changing my diaper and holding their nose at the same time. It was one of my cousins who was baby sitting me.

2-3 years old. Good times I'll tell you! Man, I remember that one time I.........wait, I really don't remembe much from the 2-3 year old era. Actually, WAIT, I do remember pulling my brother up the stairs by his head. That was fun and it is possible it lead to the kind of person he is today. Oh yeah, we also moved from Placerville to Mt. Pleasant, UT.

3-4 years old. I think I got my first big wheel bike. I was stoked (I think it was one with Super Man decals). My brother got the spider man one. He was stoked. Also, my sister Amanda was born around this time (when we still lived in UT).

4-5 years old. Hmmmmm, I recall going to a little pre-school at times. Also, the neighbor kid had me stand in front of one of those tandem swings on the swing set (where you face each other) and he let the tandem swing go and it knocked me down. The thing gave me a nice owie on my chin. What a nice kid. I also remember losing a tooth at this age (by nature) and crying with fear as I rode on a mechanical bull with my cousin. I believe we also moved to AZ during this time in my life.

5-6 years old.
Started Kindergarten in Gilbert, AZ. Seemed like fun. I had my own bike (a big two-wheel BMX bad-ass mofo). I remember a kid threatening that he was going to cut my lock and steal my bike when I rode it to school the first day. What a rude awakening to reality huh? I think I got my first crush and my first kiss from a girl. I recall her laying in a ditch in my friends neighborhood. She told me to get on top of her and kiss her. I did and I remember as I was going in for the smooch, seeing her nose FULL of nice green boogers. I'm talking like radioactive green! Good thing I didn't know what "turned on" meant then. I believe my brother Jeff was born during this time in AZ.

6-7 years old. 1st grade and the feeling of excitement when I was the first kid in my class to be able to read the word "ONE HUNDRED". I remember reading it and the teacher exploding with joy. I felt like my next conquest would be stopping world hunger and ending all wars. Didn't exactly work out, but I can now read/spell the word "ONE TRILLION". Another crush, another class picture, etc. Toward the end of 1st grade we moved back to my birthplace of Placerville, CA.

7-8 years old. We nestled down in a cozy 3 bedroom, 1000 sq ft house. The house was small, but we had 3 acres of wooded bliss and a seasonal creek. What more could a boy want in life? I made a friend (Brian I think?) and watched lots of ninja movies and GI Joe. 2nd grade was sweet and this is where I caught onto the concept of the "class clown". I wasn't him, but whoever it was that left a dookie in the boys room urinal sure was a funny person.

8-9 years old. Hmmmmmmm, I remember lots of exploring uncharted lands. There was lots to explore as a kid. We lived somewhat in the country, so not only was our property on an "all-access" status, but so were the other properties around us. Lots of cow pastures and grazing land. We would go and try to entice the cows to chase us. That was dumb. This is where I met one of the most influential persons in my young life. Mr. Bear Stevens (yeah, his name was awesome). I say that because we were kids at the time. I have no idea what Bear is doing now, but I hope he is doing well.

My friend Bear is a Native American and it was a name given at his birth. I think as he got older he went by his middle name "Mike", but I'm not positive. Eventually Bear got into some trouble when we got older and was sent to a youth prison. Being in prison, I think I'd rather have my name be Bear for credibilities sake.

Bear and I ran and ran wild. We were focused initially on riding our bikes and kicking some ass. At the time I didn't notice it, but he was a little on the "twisted" side at times. I should have picked up on it when after the 2nd or 3rd time I went to his house (which was next to a pond) he tortured a frog. It was pretty gruesome, but I just kind of went along with it and followed him around. However, Bear was also a very creative person in his speech and artistically, had a good eye for drawing. He was still a good friend that would back me up on anything and I loved him for that. Also, my sister Krystal was born around this time.

9-10 years old. 4th grade, crushes on girls, insecurities set in. Kind of weird how over a period of one year you all of a sudden worry about your clothes, if you stink, girls liking you, etc. I was focused also on skateboarding. I met another good friend (in addition to Bear) who was a skater. I dug him. We worshiped the likes of Tony Hawk and the rest of the Bones Brigade. I was a horrible skater, but I still liked to act the part. In fact, I was (and still am) very oafy and un-coordinated, so I lacked what most of the skaters had: Skills.

I ran into boughts of trouble, but nothing big. I think I saw my first naked girl in a magazine (Bear stole it from his step-dads collection). I felt so bad after seeing it though. I just recall mostly roaming the small town of Eldorado (where we lived, close to Placerville) on my bike/skateboard and trying to avoid getting caught alone, or a stoner would try to intimidate me and kick my ass. If Bear was with me, I was usually safe.

Next up: 10-11 years old........stay tuned.

The agony of defeat

OK, for starters, I'm not a typical jock that goes off and revolves his life around a win/loss situation. I just got back from a college football game. My team lost a nail-biter that went down to the end. We totally out-played the other team, but turn-overs lead to our demise.

I'm just glad I can get over this a lot quicker. I'm sure if I had a more personal stake in it (i.e. one of the coaches/players) it would be much harder to get over. Heck, I coach a team of 12 year olds and there are times I find myself not able to sleep because I'm thinking too much about my boys and their responsibilities for this weeks game.

OK. This was a retarded blog. I'm obviously tired. I have to get up in 5 hours and go coach a game.

"BUT WAIT!!! There's more"

....I need to get some thoughts off my head.

Ex-girlfriends. Why does everyone talk so bad about their ex relationships? Why does there have to be so much drama? Why can't people get on with things and "forgive/forget"? My ex-wife and I get along very well. I imagine it has to do with the fact that we are raising a son together, but for the most part we are cordial and (at least from my perspective) don't seem to hold and ill-will toward each other. We are both two VERY different people in our ideals on life, so it can get in the way of our parenting ideals, but other than that its cool.

Since my divorce (which I've never even given my life story about yet) I had been dating this girl off and on that lived in Canada. She would drive down every month and we would visit/hang out and do our "couples" thing. This lasted for two years and being the "I want to get on with my life by getting married" kind of guy, I finally decided that if she couldn't commit to moving down here and giving it a go, that I had to move on. We seemed to have been able to deal with it just fine. I saw her tonight at the game. We hung, chatted, etc. Everything was FINE.

Why can't it be this way for everyone else? Why hold the grudges, etc? Why not just be happy for the other person?

OK, so I ask those questions, then realize that I just have it good :).

Friday, October 08, 2004


(note, this is copied from my old blog at

OK, so I found out about this place because there was a link here from that showed their lead singer (Rivers Cuomo) started his own blog, etc. He updates it from time to time while attending Harvard.

So I figured it would be cool to check it out, post some thoughts, maybe get some people to like me because of those thoughts, etc. I had no idea this was like some kind of singles/romance/hook-up place. I mean, that is cool and all. I have a ton of friends I've met on the internet.

I guess the biggest WTF is how everyone seems to have their "about me" section full of the "I'm 5'2" 90lbs. I like bubble baths, long walks on the beach and to be covered in 10w 30 motor oil at random moments".

In addition, I forgot to put my latest glamour shot (or photos by Deb for you Napoleon Dynamite fans) in my picture. Oh well, I'll have to break out the oil and flex up for everyone soon enough.

Until then, sleep tight everyone. I'll be back in full force as no one reads this. This is OK though; its theraputic.

My first blog entry

I have been putting this off for quite some time, but I've wanted one ever since I learned what the word "blog" meant, which was only a few months ago :). ANYWAY, I think it is a cool idea I keep my thoughts somewhere, might as well be somewhere that is stored on some server for everyone to see.

I want to start by saying I love my son, Caiden more than anything in this world. Yeah, yeah, don't get all over me for being soft, but a child will do that for you.

I thought I had a heart attack last Monday night. I'm so lame. My dad and grandpa both had heart problems and every once in a while I get these sharp pains in my chest about the same area as my heart. I haven't been eating the best and add that with this dull pain I had in my chest all day Monday, I thought I was going to have a heart attack, so little cautious me goes to the ER at my hospital, has all these tests, etc. done and I find out there was nothing wrong with me ($100 worth of a co-pay later).

Anyway I guess its good to know that I'm still healthy I also got a lot of my current reading material (Weezers un-official Biography "Rivers Edge").

Other than that.......I'm so tired all the time. I wish I could just sleep for about 4 days and I think I'd be good. However, I'd then need to establish good sleeping habits and get to bed on time like good boys do.

Shoosh. Look at me. I'm draggin' on, talking away when its near 1am when I should be in bed and establishing said good habits.

OK. Time to go. This was refreshing.