Saturday, October 09, 2004

My life story age 1-10

OK, so here goes the run-down.

I was born on April 11, 1977 in Placerville, CA. Its a little town nestled between Sacramento and Lake Tahoe. Beautiful little place.

0-1 years old. I don't remember much. I assume I learned to eat, crawl, and walk (although I still have problems crawling, so I don't know if I ever really "mastered" the skill).

1-2 years old. I believe I learned to say words like "dadda" and "poop". I think I split my head open at this era in my life. A teatherball pole fell over and hit me on the head. 17 stitches and a lifetime scar under my hair later, I'm good to go. In addition, on my 17th month of life, my brother Russell was born. The fight begins. I also still have a faint memory of someone changing my diaper and holding their nose at the same time. It was one of my cousins who was baby sitting me.

2-3 years old. Good times I'll tell you! Man, I remember that one time I.........wait, I really don't remembe much from the 2-3 year old era. Actually, WAIT, I do remember pulling my brother up the stairs by his head. That was fun and it is possible it lead to the kind of person he is today. Oh yeah, we also moved from Placerville to Mt. Pleasant, UT.

3-4 years old. I think I got my first big wheel bike. I was stoked (I think it was one with Super Man decals). My brother got the spider man one. He was stoked. Also, my sister Amanda was born around this time (when we still lived in UT).

4-5 years old. Hmmmmm, I recall going to a little pre-school at times. Also, the neighbor kid had me stand in front of one of those tandem swings on the swing set (where you face each other) and he let the tandem swing go and it knocked me down. The thing gave me a nice owie on my chin. What a nice kid. I also remember losing a tooth at this age (by nature) and crying with fear as I rode on a mechanical bull with my cousin. I believe we also moved to AZ during this time in my life.

5-6 years old.
Started Kindergarten in Gilbert, AZ. Seemed like fun. I had my own bike (a big two-wheel BMX bad-ass mofo). I remember a kid threatening that he was going to cut my lock and steal my bike when I rode it to school the first day. What a rude awakening to reality huh? I think I got my first crush and my first kiss from a girl. I recall her laying in a ditch in my friends neighborhood. She told me to get on top of her and kiss her. I did and I remember as I was going in for the smooch, seeing her nose FULL of nice green boogers. I'm talking like radioactive green! Good thing I didn't know what "turned on" meant then. I believe my brother Jeff was born during this time in AZ.

6-7 years old. 1st grade and the feeling of excitement when I was the first kid in my class to be able to read the word "ONE HUNDRED". I remember reading it and the teacher exploding with joy. I felt like my next conquest would be stopping world hunger and ending all wars. Didn't exactly work out, but I can now read/spell the word "ONE TRILLION". Another crush, another class picture, etc. Toward the end of 1st grade we moved back to my birthplace of Placerville, CA.

7-8 years old. We nestled down in a cozy 3 bedroom, 1000 sq ft house. The house was small, but we had 3 acres of wooded bliss and a seasonal creek. What more could a boy want in life? I made a friend (Brian I think?) and watched lots of ninja movies and GI Joe. 2nd grade was sweet and this is where I caught onto the concept of the "class clown". I wasn't him, but whoever it was that left a dookie in the boys room urinal sure was a funny person.

8-9 years old. Hmmmmmmm, I remember lots of exploring uncharted lands. There was lots to explore as a kid. We lived somewhat in the country, so not only was our property on an "all-access" status, but so were the other properties around us. Lots of cow pastures and grazing land. We would go and try to entice the cows to chase us. That was dumb. This is where I met one of the most influential persons in my young life. Mr. Bear Stevens (yeah, his name was awesome). I say that because we were kids at the time. I have no idea what Bear is doing now, but I hope he is doing well.

My friend Bear is a Native American and it was a name given at his birth. I think as he got older he went by his middle name "Mike", but I'm not positive. Eventually Bear got into some trouble when we got older and was sent to a youth prison. Being in prison, I think I'd rather have my name be Bear for credibilities sake.

Bear and I ran and ran wild. We were focused initially on riding our bikes and kicking some ass. At the time I didn't notice it, but he was a little on the "twisted" side at times. I should have picked up on it when after the 2nd or 3rd time I went to his house (which was next to a pond) he tortured a frog. It was pretty gruesome, but I just kind of went along with it and followed him around. However, Bear was also a very creative person in his speech and artistically, had a good eye for drawing. He was still a good friend that would back me up on anything and I loved him for that. Also, my sister Krystal was born around this time.

9-10 years old. 4th grade, crushes on girls, insecurities set in. Kind of weird how over a period of one year you all of a sudden worry about your clothes, if you stink, girls liking you, etc. I was focused also on skateboarding. I met another good friend (in addition to Bear) who was a skater. I dug him. We worshiped the likes of Tony Hawk and the rest of the Bones Brigade. I was a horrible skater, but I still liked to act the part. In fact, I was (and still am) very oafy and un-coordinated, so I lacked what most of the skaters had: Skills.

I ran into boughts of trouble, but nothing big. I think I saw my first naked girl in a magazine (Bear stole it from his step-dads collection). I felt so bad after seeing it though. I just recall mostly roaming the small town of Eldorado (where we lived, close to Placerville) on my bike/skateboard and trying to avoid getting caught alone, or a stoner would try to intimidate me and kick my ass. If Bear was with me, I was usually safe.

Next up: 10-11 years old........stay tuned.


  1. im a bit sad you forgot me, turdball. any news on bear? just to jog your memory, i was in on the heist at that store we broke into. i threw a clayball in art class at the chalkboard and you stood up at the perfect time and got it in the face. hit me up sometime eh?

  2. you probably dont remember me, i was friends with you and bear. i helped torture the frog and i was present at the burglary. how you been?

  3. Lucas Neal!! Of course I remember you dude. I Remember we were on the mini coasters and you crashed Bear's bike and got your finger stuck in the sprocket. I also remember a ton of other hilarious moments. You need to email me: so we can catch up.