Sunday, January 11, 2009

Training a baby to learn to sleep

Lately I've felt like Bailey, who we are "training" to get used to knowing when it's time to sleep......for a long time. It's not easy and Alene has honestly done most of the work. Alene is so good because she's so consistent and believes in staying focused on the task at hand, no matter how hard it is on her own sleep. She sacrifices so much for Bailey. I think most people would give in here and there and just bring their baby into bed with them, but Alene knows that it would mess up all the work we've been putting into getting Bailey used to sleeping.

Bailey still wakes up a few times every night and what we're trying is to just let her cry until she falls back asleep. It's very hard because that crying keeps us up too. If Bailey cries for over an hour, Alene will then go in and get her up, but she usually cries for 45 minutes to an hour, then falls back asleep. I'm so happy that Alene is so strict in this endavor and doesn't waver. She's a great mother.

So, getting to my point about feeling like Bailey. I haven't done any house "projects" for a good 3-4 weeks now. I've done some small stuff here and there (hanging a shelf, dinging around in the garage trying to pretend like I'm doing something), but it's been weird.

For most of the 10 years I lived in my old house, I was constantly working on some sort of "project". I'd take small breaks here and there and it wasn't always "constant", but there was always something to do. Then after I got married and it became even worse (not Alene's fault, it was my own because we had more money coming in I guess).
Just before getting married I tackled a kitchen/bath remodel (the largest "job" I've done for someone to date) for my ex in-laws. This took a lot out of me at that time.
I started off by putting laminate wood flooring in our front room.
Then, I built a playhouse for Caiden.
Then I did a tub/shower tile job.
Then we re-modeled our kitchen/dining area.
Then I built and tiled a shower for my parents.
Then we re-roofed the house.
Then I tiled the bathroom and back laundry room.
Then I painted our bedroom, Caiden's room, and our office area.
Then I moved all our extra stuff out of our house and into storage so it would look more sellable.
Then we sold the house and moved everything else.
Then we bought another house on our way out of town to Canyonlands.
Then we came back and I had this genius idea of expanding our own bedroom to make more room.
Then we went on a trip to Joes Valley just before Bailey was due and we came home to a flooded basement.
Then I spent the rest of summer/fall re-doing our basement AND adding a bookshelf unit.

Not to mention, over the course of completing all the projects I also coached FB during the fall, went on some great camping trips to Arches, Zion, Glacier, and Canyonlands National Parks. We also camped at Escalante, the San Rafael Swell, Robbers Roost, and the Uintas. We tried to fit in hikes here and there as best we could too.

Now it's done and I'm still busy, but I have this itch to work on something else. It drives my mind mad sometimes like I need to be doing a project, but then I have to just talk myself away from that ledge. It's really funny to think of, but sometimes it actually hurts. Like it's a drug. Like I have to "train" myself to not do a project, even though I look at the house and see stuff that could be done to make it nicer. I know it doesn't have to be done and I'm trying my best to just be patient.

Over the course of this time though, this work has taken a toll on my body. My back is constantly sore, more sore than it's ever been. I'm extremely tired all the time. But I'll live. I know I will. There are still things that we want to finish on the house that kind of eat at me. We bought paint for our front room and hallway, but I have yet to do that....but I'm being patient. I recently bought some material to build a lattice wall around our hot tub, so that will be another little project. For the most part though, it's nice to not feel somewhat burdened by it. My only problem is now wasting the free time I have and making it feel like I'm busy. However, this "free" time couldn't have come at a better time because I'm attempting to get back into school this week AND Alene has started her new job, so I'm pretty busy on Monday/Tuesday afternoons/evenings while she's at work.

The thing is, I wish I was strong enough to simplify my life. I wish I could easily choose one thing over the other. My biggest "vice" I would say in my life is my love of being around the game of football. When I'm not, it eats at me constantly. I first started coaching right out of high school and I found what I thought was my calling. I had dreams/aspirations to coach on the college level someday, but now that I decided to take the route of not teaching, I think it's a little more impossible than it ever was. Still, I have an extreme love of the sport.

My biggest thing I'm torn over is the fact that football is during some of the best times to be doing my "other" love, which is being outside camping and hiking (during the fall). Every year around this time I go through the same little feeling of "why am I doing this". I get this urge to just stop and drop football for good, but here is where it gets complicated: Caiden is now playing and loves it.

So, with Caiden playing, all his games are on Saturdays, which takes out every weekend. So even if I wasn't coaching, he would have games that he is obligated to be at. When it comes to sports, I've always tried to live by the "creed" if you will, that you always finish something you start. I would hate to go against that by telling him he wasn't going to be able to play in a game because "I" wanted to go camping. I think that would be selfish and even if I gave him an option to stay or go, I think it would make it hard on him.

Anyway, I'm currently mulling the fact of at least stopping coaching at the HS level. It takes so much time and energy. I think maybe it would be best if I just focused on coaching Caiden's team and leave it at that. If he keeps playing at the HS level, maybe I could help out there too. I just don't know.

Sorry this post may be so depressing. I know I sound like a whiny idiot to most of you, who are probably saying, "buck up and do what you know you're supposed to do". Well, that is the problem...still can't figure it out.

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