Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Crazy dream, my son, stuff........

I had a crazy dream late into my sleeping mode last night. I dreamed that the night before my FB game (this coming weekend) that my ball box (I have a ball box, as opposed to a ball bag) was stolen, along with all my plays and my footballs. I showed up to the game 20 minutes before it started and everyone was looking at me like I was a big loser. All the parents were upset that I was not there 2 hrs before as I said I would be and I they were yelling at me. We lost the game and I was a disgrace. Then I woke up feeling like a loser. I took a shower and started to ding around, then remembered that Caiden was at the house and his school started in 20 minutes! We had to get ready quickly, plus I had to do his hair becuase it was picture day.

Anyway, we were kind of in a hurry, but only got to school 10 minutes late. He's so cute. There are times when he is still totally my baby boy, then other times he tries so hard to act like he's in charge and a responsible adult. However, when he gets to school he already starts to act like he doesn't need me. He'll give me a hug, but he used to put his head on my shoulder when he did it, as though he was looking for comfort. Now he just hugs me, then pulls away pretty quickly, taking note if anyone is looking. It's weird, but I always said I wanted to be a cool parent. I have to now think back to what it was like when I was his age and remember the things that embarassed me and the things that I thought were cool, for Caiden's sake. As much as I want him to be able to carve his own niche in life, there are still things that can affect his personality and the kids at his age can be so cruel and brutal.

Anyway, in the past (when he was late), I would park my truck, take him to the office, then walk him to his class. Now I just take him to the office and let him go to his class himself. He looks so small and vulnerable walking down those big hallways with his backpack that is half his size on his back. As he walked away today, I watched him walk down the long hallway and as he walked, he peered into every classroom he passed by and quickly looked back at or toward everyone he passed. He looked so innocent and almost in awe of his surroundings. He's learning so much too.

I love my son so much.

I also love my wife. She is so understanding and loving. I love that the most important thing to her in her life is her relationship with me. She tries so hard to make that a priority and I don't do enough to show that it is important to me as well. I love her so much it hurts.

Anyway, stuff.

Oh yeah, for my last playoff game (that we won) and this coming game, I put together scouting reports for my players. This usually consisted of a 4-page report that I prepared for the kids detailing the opposing teams best players, their defensive sets, their offensive plays, any new stuff we're adding to our offensive and defensive schemes, and some notes of motivation. As I was going over it with the kids (I made a copy for each of my 21 players), a guy named Pete was standing by listening in (appearantly he wanted to "suggest" a play to me that he has used in the past). Pete has been a coach in this conference for over 20 years and has had lot's of kids play in it. He's a firey guy and typically the type of guy I don't like, but I tolerated him and what he wanted to suggest adding to our play book. It was a pretty good play and we may use it, but we'll have to see how the game dictates it.

Anyway, he made a nice compliment to me about my scouting report, saying it's the most detailed report he's ever seen in his 20 years coaching on either the little league or the HS level. That was nice of him. I do take pride in my scouting reports. I think it's important that my players are as mentally prepared as they are physically prepared.

I've been waivering on being really nervous for this upcoming game, then I start to put it in perspective with life in general (it's just a game) and I calm down and start to think of how fun the opportunity will be. Then I start to make the perspective a little smaller and I think of how important it is for my kids that they have the opportunity to win a championship and beat a team that has won a record 38 games.

Oh well. We have practice tonight to plan some more. Should be fun.

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