Desperation as a parent

Last week I received a phone call on my cell phone that was coming from "Blocked". I answered it and there was a voice I did not recognize on the other end, but I knew who it was. He was the father of a kid I used to coach a few years ago. I didn't recognize his voice because I had never heard him speak before. I had never heard him speak before because he doesn't speak english very well.

He and his family, which consist of a wife, 3 boys and a girl, are immigrants from Croatia. They moved here about 14 years ago to get away from all the war that had ravished their country. When I coached his son (who, by the way was a STUD athlete and a lot of fun to coach), he told me that his father doesn't have a job, or can't keep a job because he doesn't speak english. He seemed kind of upset about his father not working and I too have passed judgement on him, thinking if he's lived here for over 10 years, why hasn't he taken the opportunity to improve himself by learning english so he can get a job? His parents rarely came to games because they didn't have a car. Alene once picked them up and gave them a ride to our championship game, which I'm sure they appreciated.

It's been about 3 years since I'd seen his parents. He started off with small talk of some sort (in broken english) but eventually I realized he was calling me asking for money. At first I had no idea what he was asking because his english was so broken. I remember his son saying that his dad was embarrassed to talk because of how bad his english is. I can't imagine how hard it was for his dad to call me to ask for money. He kept saying, "Tax refund you paying back, tell wife". I eventually realized he was saying he would pay me back with his tax refund and he wanted me to ask my wife if we could loan him money. I told him I'd call him back in a bit and hung up.

I got off the phone and talked with Alene about it. At first I was a bit put off, thinking it was kind of weird, and worrying about if we loaned him money, would he pay us back? The amount wasn't astounding, but it was still be considered "a lot" of money for us. We don't have a ton of liquid savings (anything I really save is either in a retirement account, or Caiden and Bailey's education savings), but we had enough to cover what he was needing.

Alene and I thought about it a bit and the more we thought about it, the more it seemed like a good idea to give it to him. In fact, we eventually came to the conclusion that if he didn't pay us back, we weren't going to worry about it. Eventually I started to think even more about telling him to NOT pay us back. I've been so blessed over the past year with a good job, my families health, my own health, and so many other things that there is no way I shouldn't pass up on an opportunity to show my appreciation for the blessings in my life. During a time when people are losing their jobs and lives are falling apart financially, mine is not and I should be thankful. I was determined to give him the money and tell him to not pay us back. I even pulled out an extra $20 to give to him.

I met him at my work the next day. He walked in and gave me a big hug and had a huge smile on his face. I put the cash in a sealed envelope with his name on it and gave it to him. I told him "don't pay us back" and repeated it in an many ways I could in order to get my point across to him. I told him to take care of his family and tell them hello for me. He smiled and nodded and said thank you. I still don't know if he understood what I was telling him, but I felt good about it and if he tries to pay us back, we won't accept it.

I have no idea what he needed the money for, but I kept thinking about how desperate he must have been. I remember him mentioning something about Christmas when he called me and I can only imagine that he was telling me they didn't have one. I've learned and realized that as a father you may not be a perfect one, but a real father would do anything he can for his family, including stepping out of his comfort zone. I look at it as paying him for teaching me a lesson about taking care of my family no matter how hard it is to step out of my comfort zone.

Thanks honey, for being willing to assist someone in need with me.