....and kind of "poor little us" (me and Alene). This is my darling baby girl. After weeks, which have lead to months, of trying to teach Bailey to sleep, we are at a loss. We (mostly Alene) have been so diligent in doing exactly as we have been told by friends, family, books, Dr's and nothing seems to have worked.
We have a "routine" for bed. She get's a bath at the same time, the lights are dimmed, and she get's the same lotion. Alene then sings her a song and reads her a book. We've done this without waivering for 6 weeks or so, but nothing has changed.
We tried to let Bailey cry, but after an hour and a half and sometimes two hours, sometimes she would finally fall asleep, but sometimes it was just too much. For whatever reason, you can hear her scream in our house no matter how far you get away from her. We don't sleep, and neither does she. It never really worked. We were very good about not picking her up and just letting her cry, but after weeks and weeks, it never changed.
We asked our pediatrician and the best responses we got were "she shouldn't be crying for more than an hour" and "just keep trying".
Now, like clock-work, Bailey goes to bed at 8-8:30pm and wakes up between 11pm and midnight. We are so beat that we've gotten back to the routine of just picking her up and rocking her back to sleep. She then wakes up about 3 hours later and is finally up for the day about 6-7am.
When we first started trying this, it was because she was "only" sleeping in 4 hour blocks, but now it's 3.
Everyone in the world has given us advice (and we truly are grateful for it), but nothing is working. This is very depressing and we just kind of don't care to get advice anymore, even though we appreciate it.
What's more, I'm just worried that once Bailey finally does learn to sleep (maybe when she's 1?) Alene and I will both likely be "conditioned" to wake up every 3 hours and it will be hard to sleep through the night ourselves.
We love our baby so much and we want for her to be happy and healthy. It's so hard to hear her cries and screams and frustrations at night and not know what to do, other than what we've been told NOT to do (rock her back to sleep).
Through all of this, I still cherish the times of being able to hold her little body, all wrapped up in her blanket in a dark room and just bounce and rock her. I'm always reminded that while it's very hard being a parent, I wouldn't trade it for the life of a non-parent. Sure, there are times I wish I could just go anywhere or do anything I wanted without thought to my children being affected, but there is something almost magical about being a parent that I cannot describe.
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We've had some success with our son in terms of sleep, so I'll share what we did. Every kid's different, though.
ReplyDeleteWe did the same things you're talking about with one exception: we endured the crying, sometimes for 3 hours per night. Earplugs definitely helped.
Here's how it worked: we did a routine like yours and made sure Carson slept with nothing, including a binky, blanket, etc. We just bundled him up, turned on the heat and let him cry.
He cried for between 2 and 3 hours per night, sometimes at alternate times, for 3 nights straight. He's slept through the night ever since. He's now 21 months and sleeps from 6pm to 6am every night and takes a 1 hour nap during the day.
Again, all kids are different and we may have gotten lucky on this one (we'll find out in June!). It sounds like you're doing all the right things, just need to endure through the crying, which I know is really hard. Earplugs, man.
Thanks Mark. I'll have to go purchase some earplugs and see what happens.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to know that there are more people out there with babies as persistent on crying as ours. When our Dr said there is now way she should cry more than an hour, it just made us feel like there was something wrong with her. We're finding more and more that it's a little more normal.
I know you're sick of advice but I hear ya on the sleepless nights! I read a book that I loved called "Sleeping Through the Night.." by Jodi Mindell. I loved it and you may have read it in your search for sleep.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you're doing all the right things. In her book she says that the main thing is getting them to fall asleep on their own at the beginning of the night(do a bedtime routine etc). If they wake up during the night, its okay to rock them. But, if you're strict about allowing her to fall asleep on her own and let her cry it out when you first lay her down, eventually they will stop crying in the middle of the night.
You just have to make sure she doesn't have any negative sleep associations.. so that means that in the middle of the night, she should have all the same circumstances that she has when you lay her down.. that means her door should be however you left it at bedtime (open or closed) same lighting, blanket or binky within reach etc.
The BIGGEST thing that helped Dakota, was white noise. I found in the summertime when we had the window cooler blowing in her room, she slept better during the night. So when it came time to take the coolers down, I bought a white noise spa machine and leave it on all night long. It blocks out excess noise and simulates the same sounds they had in womb. That seems to make a huge difference for her. Even now, if we travel somewhere and I forget the noise machine, she doesn't sleep as well and wakes up more often.
Hope that helps!